Ask Arlene…Competing for Dances

From Planeo

Me and my best friend always go to the milongas together. My best friend always has the men falling all over her asking for a dance while I often sit out on the side for much of the evening. She is very flirtatious and her clothes are very revealing. I have talked to different people about it and says that shes not that attractive and that I am much better looking. We are both in our thirties. How do I get whats shes got and get all the dances?

Dear Planeo,

There is no reason to be sitting out dances unless you choose to.

There are a number of reasons why you may not be getting the dances in, and the first question that comes to mind is how good a dancer are you?  Granted, being good looking might get the men over to you to start with, but may not be enough in the long run if your dancing skills are not up to scratch.

Now let’s say you are a competent dancer and an attractive lady but you are still not getting the dancing in.  Did you ever think that your friend might be onto something here?  If she is not that good looking and maybe relying on revealing a bit more flesh to get the dances in, perhaps you might want to take a leaf out of her book and do the same.  If you have issues about what to wear, please have a look at my post on Tango Fashion.  Just remember to leave a little bit to the imagination.  There is nothing wrong with highlighting your assets.

You also mention that your friend is very flirtatious.  Have you ever thought about putting on a smile or happy face while waiting for a dance?  How about moving about the room and being sociable?  Make friends with other women instead of seeing them as competition.  Go to classes before the Milonga and get to know some of the men.  Network like hell at the Milongas.

How do you think I’ve managed all these years?  I’ve worked hard to get to know people and develop my dancing skills.  I make an effort with my appearance.  I am pleasant to people.  I am always smiling.  There is a phrase about being the flower to the bee.  If you want to attract people to you, you need to make it worth their while.

Did you ever think that the reason your friend is getting all the dances is because she might be actually be a better dancer than you?

Maybe you should sit somewhere else.

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Tango Extravaganza UK 2009 on Facebook

We invite all fellow tangueros and tangueras to become members of this group and to invite your tango friends to join us.

http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/group.php?gid=61292389548&ref=share

Please let us know if you want to be an associate of Tango Extravaganza 2009 in your area and we will be happy to discuss some financial benefits in return for your assistance. We are particularly keen to hear from those who are based in the midlands.

About the festival:

Tango Extravaganza 2009: Third London International Tango Festival
http://www.tangoextravaganzauk.com

Confirmed tango maestros and artists:

*Choreographer of Forever Tango (Broadway), the legendary Roberto Reis & Natalia Lavandeira (Argentina)
*Mundial de Tango winners 2006 (Buenos Aries World Tango Championship),: Carlos Paredes & Diana Giraldo (Colombia)
*Nuevo Tango Masters: Pablo Linares & Patricia Carrazco (Argentina)
*Event Organisers: Cesar Velasquez & Carolina Gonzalez (Colombia)
*World Renowned Dancers: Pablo Nievas & Valeria Zunino (Argentina)
*Musicians from Argentina:
*Trio Lotox Tango band and guest singer Floro Aramburu
*Duo Napoli Casares
*Additional Attractions

*Tango Photography Competition
*Chair Massages for Tango Dancers
*Shopping: Shoes & Other Tango Merchandise

Venues: Corrientes Social Club & 4 Wild court, London College of Business.

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