Why People Leave Tango/Why People Love Tango

There is a survey on the West Coast about why people leave Tango.

The post by Working Artist sums up how I feel about it (the link to the survey is on her blog).  I came across her blog through Tangocherie, who also has a few things to say about this.

People leave or return to Tango for many reasons.  Does it really matter why?  Not to me.  I come and I go.  If I don’t go so often anymore is is not because I don’t like it or love it, but because I might be tired or doing other things.  I spent the first 3 years of my Tango life dancing 5 nights a week.  I was working full time, but my job and hours were different to what I am doing now.  I wasn’t in a relationship.  Now I am and he lives out of London.  My priorities are not the same.  I listen to Tango music all of the time as that is what is really important to me.

Tango doesn’t care who dances or who leaves.  Tango will always be there.

I think this survey just gives people another outlet to moan and whine about Tango, and is probably not totally accurate because those who really left it may not be reading about it.  I say that people should quit their belly-aching, whining, whinging, moaning, griping and what other euphemism that comes to mind.  Grow up and get on with life and your dancing and take responsibility.  If something is not working, try something else or go somewhere else, but stop bitching about it, it doesn’t change anything.  I know, because I have had my moments of bitching and complaining.  I don’t do that anymore. My enjoyment of Tango is better because I no longer expect anything from it.  It is what it is and if I am not enjoying myself, I go home.  Easy peasy.

So, let’s focus on the positive.  I want to know why people love Tango and why they stay! (only comments about why you love it will be posted, no bitching allowed)

from Arlene: Considering the hundreds of people who have viewed this post in the last week, I find it incredible that only a few people have commented.  When I post something about not being asked for dances or cliques, then the comments come flying in.  I think that is very interesting.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Deby
    Jul 18, 2009 @ 12:43:14

    Only Americans would come up with a survey and hack this to death. I cannot imagine Argentines ever doing this. It never fails to amaze me how people over analyze something they should just simply enjoy.

    People start and stop lots of things. Cooking classes, tennis, gym, but they never stop to over analyze it. Tango is a dance that people need to enjoy. Take a pause, enjoy the music, enjoy your friends. Stop worry about the things you cannot control.

  2. Johanna
    Jul 18, 2009 @ 17:40:27

    I love it because it makes me feel beautiful and complete. And I like the shoes.

  3. jantango
    Jul 18, 2009 @ 21:11:26

    I’m not going to bother to read the survey. You have said it all in your post, and I agree.

    I can live without a man, but I can’t live without music in my life. Tango is the music I have enjoyed since my childhood. I enjoy attending tango concerts. I enjoy learning about the musicians and singers of tango. I enjoy researching and learning more about the early days of tango. And I enjoy dancing tango when the music inspires. Leave tango? Never!

  4. elizabeth
    Jul 20, 2009 @ 18:46:54

    Great idea Arlene, let us all focus on the positive and our love for tango! I LOVE the friends, the moving to the music in the embrace, of responding when asked, of letting go of control, and most of all the music, which we will have forever.

  5. Carol
    Jul 21, 2009 @ 00:42:48

    Great idea Arlene. I need this at the moment. I fell in love with the music first. I had never danced before…but always wanted to.. it has given me new energy. As well I love the friends I have made, the meeting of new people all the time, the chance to dress up and look glam, the shoes…

  6. Sophie
    Jul 28, 2009 @ 09:31:51

    Hello all – sorry for the late comment I was on holidays 🙂
    Thanks for finding this Arlene, how interesting from a social sciences perspective (indeed Deby, it doesn’t change a thing to the dance, the dance scene or anything tango – it’s just an educational sliver of life).
    I find it interesting that the survey doesn’t ask respondents how they were doing in other parts of their life when they quit tango. The dance comes from the heart, the soul, and if those are maimed a bit by life (breakup, redundancy, grief, etc), how can one dance pleasurably? The respondents also mentionned the “cliques” yet had been dancing for 3 years… by then, you are the clique! you know most people by sight, you know the different milongas, you have people you love dancing with and others you would never dance with… It also seemed from the “final comments” that lots of respondents had very high expectations of “being part of the clique”, “being there”. They come across as generally high-achievers who don’t cope well with half-successes (not event mentionning failure). Tango success is not measured by the number of dances, the prestige of one’s partners or any such things. Tango success is in one’s heart. Hard to measure and benchmark against for someone who’s looking for “1st in class”, “best in show” and others marks of achievement. And of course the truest comment is that it is highly likly that the true leavers of tango didn’t bother with the survey – but perhaps therein lies their answer: they maybe left tango because they didn’t care about it enough. Which is a fine answer I think.
    Now what will I take away from this survey? I’ll remember to go out of my comfort zone and try new people a bit more. I’ll also review my expectations of tango and assess if they are likely to be met (I liked the comments about finding a life-partner at tango). But further, I’m just thankfull I still enjoy tango for whatever reasons.

  7. TP
    Jul 31, 2009 @ 01:30:31

    Great comment. Sophie. Well said.

    It takes two to tango. We have to give in order to receive. The ones who are touched by tango do not quit easily. Those who quit most likely haven’t found tango, and probably never known tango. As I said, they would not be missed.

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